Shatter
by KS Filler Bunny
Summary: Harry discovers the Mirror of Erised is back at Hogwarts. Harry-centric introspect. R for language and suggested violence. Hope you enjoy!


Shatter

a one-shot by Filler Bunny

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_"I stared motionless before the mirror as always. I stayed until I was convinced that there was no glass, nothing seperatingme fromthe room on the other side..."_

I'm here at the place I promised Dumbledore I would never return. Even though I promised him all those years ago I would never return he removed the mirror anyway. He was always incapable of trusting me. I suppose the reason rests in my humanity. The flaw of all of God's creature's; we revel in the sickness of addiction. To find that one thing that cures our spiritual, to blanket it over for just a little while. It is this that causes us to succumb to temptations and seperates us from the seraphims of heaven. Is it so wrong to want to see my family once more? Maybe the fates wish it so or I wouldn't have found the damned mirror once more.

I was in the great hall eating with Ronand Hermione when I saw it. Ginny stormed out after a fight with Dean about something. It was when she openedthe doors that Isaw it. The large mirror was covered with white sheets and bound with burgundy cords. You could see the inscriptions of surrounding the mirrors due to the cover slipping. Dumbledore was directing the two wizards who were levitating the mirror through the other hall. I followed their movements with the Marauder's Map (copyrighted by Messrs. Moony,Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs)and used my cloak to later go up to the third corridor. Ron and Hermione were off patrolling,or as I call it"arguing-or-avoiding-each-other-to-prevent-the-revelation-of-one's-true-feelings". It's strangehow difficult it is for people to say such wonderful wordsasthose three: "I love you.' people take them for granted yet they fear their importanceatt the same time. It's one of those phrases that change a persons world. My musings are brought on by the deprivation of love in my life. I.e. I wouldn't have enough spare time to think about this if I had a girlfriend. Anyway, back to the damned mirror.

I can see my family now, they're msiling and wavingat me. I'ts funny how a person can change body, mind, and soul yet their one true desirecan remain the same. I guess a person doesn't really change at the core of their soul. Well I guess this is my desire in a sense. It reveals what they want most and they cansee it which is close to having it. I can never havemy family back so at least I can have this ability to remember what they looks like. But know I wish they were really here!

Damn this! It's frustrating being human! On the inside we're spoiled, we get what we want and then we wantmore. No wonder we're God's "children". This should be the mirror of Erutrot instead of Erised.

Is Erised even really a place? Or was it name Erised for the sake of it being desire backwards? If so, I'm pissed. Could Erised be a centimeter away? That place we fantasized about as children. The room on hte other side of the glass. It looks the same but remains in a seperate world. Is it only a figment of our imagination? Or is it a hope that _somewhere_ their is acceptance tha thas manifested itself into reality.par tab So talking to my dead relatives for eternity may not seem exciting to most it's all I have. Better than the world I live in now as Harry Potter, the boy who lived, you'd expect the whole celebrity package: women, money, glory, love of the masses,and bad press. Nope just the latter. Girls don't like my gloomy nature, I spent my parents fortune on the war, and people change at the drop of a hat.Saving the people from a dark wizard does not sell papers. Now a "drunken display" at Celestina Warbeck's launch party does. I don't even care anymore. They can save their own asses from the next homicidal dark lord. I'll stay here and revel in the fantasy that is Erised, my own little vacation.Gone are the trials and suffering of my life. Why do I live anyway? Ron and Hermione were the answer but eventually they'll hook up and I'll be Harry Potter the third wheel. So then I will have bad press, no friends and no money. But I have fame. yea. I'm gonna kill whoever wrote that song, fame is overrated. Him and cupid for skipping my number in the love department.

So I'm staying here and staring at the mirror, wanting something I can never have. But it could only be on the otherside of the mirror. It's fear, another human flaw. The fearthat I'll seethe rosewood behindthe glass. Erised, my desire is not tangible after all. Then whatlittle I have is gone and I'll be worse off. But if it's real, I've risked a little to have alot. For someone so great I seem to be loaded with alot of pathetic human agony raging in my soul. Maybe I'm going emo. Dear God help me if so. I take that back, the people don't see me as a great wizard anymore, just some crazy son-of-a-bitch who got lucky. I'm going to add Rita Skeeter to my hitlist for making my life hell. There is a justification to my self imposed liscense to kill.

Yea! Massive genocide to those who don't comprehend the pain they cause. That would be lovely. Maybe I sympathize with Voldemort a little bit. That kind of sucks for my sanity plea. Even though he was a little cockeyed in his perception on things we're alot alike. My mum is scowling. Can she read my mind? I need one of those aluminum foil hats to protect my brain. Oh well. Could Voldemort have been a victim of trauma and bad press like me? Muggles made his life hell, so he did something about it. But it was deemed evil by those morons up top instead of misguided. Why are our opinions of bad and good created by the government? Their morons! The guy tried to kill me in self-defense. I was a threat to him and he did something about it. Dark jinxes have saved my life so are they really evil?

Mum is coddling my reflection while I sit on this bloody cold floor. Damn mirror Harry. It's sad when one is jealous of their reflection. I wonder how long I've been down here. I know by now Ron and Hermione are walking this way looking for me. They've developed a sixth sense about where I disappear to. And what propels them to find me is Hermione's fear that I'll hurt myself and drags Ron, who knows better , with her to find me. Hermione has read petty much everybook in existence yet she does not have the talent Ron has to read people. But he is considered "incompetent" by many, but I don't believe it. But the ones in power do and they'll listen to Hermione and I'll get locked up to prevent me from causing harm to myself. I have to escape. It's time to find out whether or not Erised exists...

Did you know that when you punch a mirror not only is your hand sliced open by the glass, but you break your knuckles on the hardwood behind it? Yea so now my hand hurts like a bitch and I feel regret. I used to have something, but I risked that little bit of my family I had to escape this reality. I truly am pathetic. I need to work on my self-worth. I am upset over some fantasy shattered by a clean right hook. Damn. par tab I hear them calling my name. How do they do that? They are a living Marauder's map. Hermione will see my hand and will not understand. It seems I have a hemoglobin defeciency due to the fact my hand won't stop bleeding! And they're gettting closer I won't let them take me away and keep me holed up. I think a 2 and 1/2 foot long shard of glass ought to do the trick. They're the door way and Hermione is freaking out and telling Ron to get a teacher. Nope. So I lunge after them but slip on the blood flowing from my hand. Fucking Nikes.

There's a sharp pain in my chest. I think it's because a 2 1/2 foot long shard of glass has gone through my chest and exited out my back. Seems my plans of world domination and massive genocide have been postponed indefinately due to an inconvenience. It seems I'm dead.

_" I imagine that everything is different over there. Better. There are people in that world I would like.par tab But, like always my hand hits the glass.par tab I know that if I had waited one more second."_ -Johnny the Homicidal Maniac ( from the JTHM comics by Johnen Vasquez)


End file.
